Gratitude

I think Novemeber is a month of gratitude by nature of its holiday. This time of year we are all thinking about Thanksgiving, a holiday for gratitude. This Thanksgiving in particular is special as it is the birthday of a very dear friend of mine. He passed away a little over a year ago. While the pain of his loss is still very fresh, I would like to take a moment to express my gratitude.

I moved to Utah at the end of 2002. My sisters conviced me this would be a good change for me and my children. Since I have been here I have not thought of this as necessarily a great move (not bad either), but I do miss the beach and living on the coast. As I think back on my time here I have wondered if this was a smart move. My kids are grown and doing well, no regrets there. I am doing well, no regrets here. I think we might have done equally as well had we moved somewhere coastal instead, however I would not have met my friend. My only regret is not meeting him sooner so we could have more time together before he had to go.

He was really a great guy. He was wonderful to his family and he was wonderful to me. I know no relationship is perfect and neither was ours, however, it is easy now to overlook the little things and appreciate the greatness of it. He was the only person who made me feel special. He never made me feel inadequate or undeserving in any way. If we argued it was never hateful or mean. He was always so glad to see me. He was always doing little things for me, giving me small gifts, and proudly showing me off to family and friends. I was overwhelmed by his generosity and kindness. I have never met anyone like him before and quite likely never will again. Due to my petty fears and hesitation I did not get a chance to tell him how I truly feel. I miss him everyday. I love him. Our time together was very short, I wish it could have been longer.

Thinking of all the directions my life has taken, this one direction I would not ever change. I am so grateful to have known and loved Abie Martinez. I am so grateful I had the chance to be loved by him. RIP Abie Martinez 11/24/1947 - 5/31/2010